Burning Bridges.

Hello everyone.

Well, my last blog certainly caused a bit of furor, especially from those who knew exactly what it was about. I do admit that I enjoyed the excitement, but those experiences do remain with you (good and bad). I still get calls and emails regarding that situation on a daily basis. All good though.

So what to talk about now? Burning bridges. Or not burning bridges.

Very recently I spent time at an organization that was the first one to hire my fresh face out of college. Potential business there, yes, but also spent time catching up with many of the people who interviewed me back in the summer of 1996. Boy, it felt like coming home. What was even better was that my work was remembered (for the good) since I left the company in 1998. That's 12 years ago, and since then I moved twice, went to law school, got married, had kids and worked in a variety of jobs. But they still remembered, and they also remembered my departure, and many of them had kept up with my career through indirect measures.

So when I visited there, there wasn't a lot of explaining to do about what I've been up to over the years, and we all really wanted to work together again. I cannot imagine that the experience would have been the same, or would have even happened at all, had I burned my bridges at the organization.

Another example is that I have lunch with at least three to five of my old bosses on a semi-regular basis. For a variety of reasons I am no longer working with them, and in many cases they've moved on themselves, but had I burned those bridges, not only would I be deprived of their mentorship, connections and insights, but I would be without their friendship.

Do I or did I get frustrated with the companies I worked for? The bosses I've had? Sure, but then again who doesn't?

But it's about constructive resolution of those problems, or coming to terms with the fact that I may not be right even thought I'm emphatic that I am (which happens many times, just ask my wife). Or having an outlet that allows you to take out your frustration on a "real" punching bag, or friends/family to discuss problems with.

Trust me, in my business, as in many, if you hauled off and punched your boss, or if you trashed your former employers, you'll "never work in this town again." Or, with today's technology, you'll never work in this country again.

And yes, there are exceptions to the rule. I have lived that exception and so have many of you.

But next time, when you are upset, angry or frustrated with your working experience, ask yourself "is it worth it to burn the bridge?" Really think about it. If you choose the right path, perhaps you'll have the opportunity years and years later to "come home" as well.

Integrity is not everything, it's the only thing.

I apologize for the infrequent nature of my blog posts, once again. I still am working on updating as much as I can, but unfortunately the nature of my business, which can be very confidential at times (that legal thing gets in the way), does not allow me to always post what's on my mind.

But this isn't one of those times. Now it's about integrity.

The definition of integrity is "a firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values."

Integrity is how we should live our lives and how we conduct business. Unfortunately I, and I'm sure you, have come across clients, co-workers and acquaintances where integrity is a four-letter word.

Life is too short to deal with people who don't have integrity, who don't have character or the moral fiber to do what's right and treat people fairly.

Am I preaching at you? Perhaps, but it comes from the heart and my own experiences.

Recently I found myself in a position with a client where my integrity was not only challenged, but being chipped away at. Not only from inside the company, but by those who are industry observers and commentators.

With this client, I was drained emotionally and mentally, questioning my own ability to be a professional, and I'd come home every night exhausted, unable to be a good husband or father. I wouldn't return phone calls or emails, even from longtime friends, because I didn't want to answer questions about this client's ability to do business (yes, you've probably read about it although it won't be mentioned here). All I was able to do was sack out in front of the TV, more than not with a glass of wine in my hand, and zone out. That was my life for months on end.

But...and this is an important but...my mortgage was paid, food was on the table and financially I was above water.

I was in a personal quandary, which came to a head last weekend. Give up a once-decent client and try to find more business? Or stick with this client, for better or worse, hoping that my integrity will survive intact, or as intact as possible? Was it worth going through the muck to hope that I would end up clean on the other side?

After some soul searching and discussions with my ever-understanding wife, the answer became clear. Integrity, professional and personal, would take precedence. Money is important, survival even more so, but to what end? Could I look at myself in the mirror every morning, anticipating the excitement of each day? No. Did I want to see this client successful? Sure, but there is a proper way of obtaining success, and their way wasn't working.

So I resigned. And the weight lifted.

I write this to you now excited. Re-energized. Having fun reconnecting with those I lost touch with and reminding former (and future) clients that I am ready, available and able to work with them to further their goals.

And I do so with integrity.

More blogging soon!